


Snapshots from Fire and Ice

by azure_iolite



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angels, Archangels, Brothers, Crack, Ella is amused, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Lucifer and Michael are Twins, Lucifer has a dirty mind, Shoes, Strawberries, Texting, angels don’t get humans, michael is confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2020-10-27 21:51:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azure_iolite/pseuds/azure_iolite
Summary: Michael and Lucifer are twins.Due to events far too complicated for this summary, they’ve made up, and now our favorite Devil is housing a clueless archangel who just doesn’t understand how Earth works.A collection of one shots pulled out of my longer fic because they are just delightful.





	1. Shoes

**Author's Note:**

> For the sake of this fic, just assume everyone knows.
> 
> If there are any other favorite silly scene you want me to add, let me know.
> 
> And if I choose to post any samples from the upcoming sequel, I will include those here as well.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Michael tries to understand human fashion.

Ella didn’t arrive at Lucifer’s until 10:30. She had needed to stop by work first, to tie up a couple loose ends before she could take the rest of the day, and even though she got an early start, it took longer than she would have liked to get out. It was okay, though. Lucifer always came in late, and as she looked around, she noticed that Amenadiel and Charlie hadn’t even arrived yet.

Setting down the hot chocolate and cinnamon rolls she had picked up for Michael on her way in, she caught herself smirking. The archangel had looked so insulted the night before when Lucifer suggested their oldest brother “watch Mī until I get back.” But when Lucifer gave him a phone and shooed him off, he seemed content with the distraction, seemingly entranced by the device and forgetting all about whatever speech he had been preparing to make.

There was no question about it. Ella was going to be putting out fires today.

She made her way over to Michael’s room, expecting to run into Lucifer on the way. But Lucifer was out of sight, and Michael was apparently left to his own devices. He was in his room, as she expected, but he was so focused on what he was doing, he hadn’t noticed her approach, and Ella was not prepared for the sight that awaited her.

She found him with one kind of shoe on one foot and another kind on the other, holding two more styles in his hands. He was sitting on the bed, turning one foot from side to side, a very serious expression on his face. There were several other shoes scattered about the floor. He was so focused on the footwear he was actually startled when Ella started to giggle. His eyes darted up to her, alert and guarded for the briefest moment before they relaxed into an embarrassed, tired smile.

“No shoes in heaven?” Ella wondered, trying to suppress her chuckling.

“Not like this, no. There are a few kinds, simple, functional... but we don’t have much cause to wear them.” He shrugged as he set the shoes he was holding down. One red and black sketcher and one fuzzy sky blue house shoe. Then he kicked off the polished grey loafer and tan leather hiking boot on his feet. He wasn’t wearing socks. Ella wondered if he understood socks. Probably not.

“So, I guess we have more kinds here?” She sat down next to him and picked up a flip flop. Were these all Lucifer’s shoes? Had Michael gotten into his closet to try to understand fashion? The idea of the archangel going through the Devil’s stuff and smuggling footwear into this room was too much.

“You humans have turned function into art... But I don’t understand.” He looked at her with serious, thoughtful blue eyes.

“You don’t get why?” Ella guessed.

“No. I mean, yes. Why are shoes for females different from shoes for males?”

Ella laughed again. She couldn’t help it. The image of Saint Michael, the Sword of God, prancing around in the pair of blood red pumps she saw at the foot of his bed was just too much. Were those Lucifer’s too?

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked. Ella shook her head, still laughing.

“No, you didn’t.” She took a moment to catch her breath. “Where is Lucifer, by the way?”

Michael smiled, seemingly amused. “Oh, you know. Sammy spends a great deal of time in the washroom. Ever the vain one. He was told once that he was the most beautiful of Father’s angels and it went right to his head. Sometimes, I think he just likes to stand in front of the looking glass so he can preen.”

Ella grinned. That sounded like Lucifer, alright. “So, he’s in the shower? Did you get bored and raid his closet?” She smirked.

“No. These are mine.” Ella’s hand flew to her mouth in surprise. “They arrived just before you did... in boxes. I made the request for them on the communication device yesterday.” He explained.

So the Prince of Heaven discovered online shopping. Ella was pretty sure he didn’t know Lucifer was being billed for all of those shoes. Not that it mattered. He could afford it. She shook her head, getting ready to explain this to him anyway when he spoke up again.

“I was surprised when they arrived. I didn’t think they would be sent to me at all.” He sighed. “Human technology has certainly come a long way.” He picked up a camouflaged combat boot and looked it over with almost melancholic seriousness.

Ella snorted in spite of herself. Not laughing was hard. “So, the red pumps are yours?” She heard the door to the bathroom open and the sound of Lucifer’s bare feet padding to his room.

“I suppose. But they don’t fit. The number is the same, but they’re smaller.” To illustrate his point, he set down the combat boot and picked up a pump, trying to slide his foot into it, only to take it off again when it didn’t go all the way on, shaking his head, a baffled look on his face.

Ella couldn’t take it anymore. She started laughing hard enough she had to hold her sides. What was, for him, an innocent line of inquiry, was painfully hilarious to her. Michael frowned at her, insulted by her mirth. “I’m sorry, it’s just...” She took a deep breath, then decided to answer his question. “Dudes have bigger feet, so the sizes are adjusted.” She kicked off her sneaker and held up her pink-socked foot next to his bare one. “See?”

Michael looked at their feet and made an o with his mouth, understanding sinking in. “That should have been obvious to me. Males tend to be bigger, so it only stands to reason that the feet would be too.” He smiled, pleased with himself for having made sense of at least one human mystery.

“Yeah, and you know what they say about foot size.” Ella joked, before she realized, too late, that no, he did NOT know what they say. She blushed as she heard Lucifer approaching.

“My, my. Miss Lopez, what are you trying to say to my twin?” She heard him purr. Looking up, she saw Lucifer, still buttoning his shirt, a fascinated look on his face. “And where did all of these shoes come from?”

Ella covered her face in her hands. Mortified and muttering through her fingers, she tried to explain, “I forgot who I was talking to. I am, like, so, sooo sorry!”

Michael placed his hand on Ella’s shoulder in a reassuring gesture. “What do they say about foot size? It can’t be that bad.”

Lucifer grinned evilly at them and Ella groaned. “The bigger your foot, the bigger your member.” He said it like he was bragging. He even wiggled his hips suggestively, and Ella’s blush spread.

For his part, Michael seemed unbothered. Rather, he seemed to turn the foreign idea around in his head for a bit, then he turned his blue eyes on his twin.

“Is it true?”

Lucifer doubled over holding his sides with laughter. Ella let out a chuff before she covered her mouth again, trying and failing not to laugh at his question. Then he asked another, worse question.

“Does size matter somehow?” As he looked at them gasping for air, he frowned. Ella felt like she might pass out. “Sorry, but it’s just a lot to take in.” He tried to explain tentatively.

Not able to resist himself, Lucifer looked up at his twin, tears in his eyes and gasped out the only response that was appropriate in this instance. “That’s what she said!”


	2. Strawberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mîchael discovers the wonders of food.

Chloe and Trixie found Lucifer at his piano, plunking distractedly at the keys, and scowling toward the kitchen. They could hear someone rummaging around in there.  
  
“Bloody Hell,” Lucifer grumbled, glancing at them with a peeved expression. “Tell me again why we introduced Mī to food?”  
  
“What?” Chloe asked. He had been so pleased yesterday, when Michael had finally realized how great food was. What was with the change of heart? Stepping out of the elevator, Chloe glanced toward the kitchen, as Trixie darted off to see what was going on. Chloe shrugged at Lucifer, waiting for him to explain himself.  
  
“You’d think after a feast of cinnamon rolls, he’d be content.” He announced with a dramatic sigh. “But no! He had to eat all the strawberries too, and now he’s pirating everything else.” Lucifer groused. Chloe shook her head. Of course. Because why would Lucifer be upset about anything that _actually _mattered?  
  
When she looked into the kitchen, she saw Trixie sitting on the counter, kicking her feet, eager and amused. She was surrounded my various cooking ingredients, all opened. Flour, canola oil, butter, eggs, celery, salt, and ice cubes… it was a chaotic mess of mismatched foods that didn’t look like they would make, well, anything. Michael was rummaging through the cupboards, pulling out more random things.  
  
“You should try that,” Trixie said, pointing to the chocolate syrup he found. “And give me some too.”  
  
“What are you doing?” Chloe demanded, looking at him in bewilderment.  
  
“Ravaging my kitchen!” Lucifer lamented from the piano as Michael opened the top of the syrup and squeezed a bit into Trixie‘s hand, followed by his own.  
  
“Looking for snacks.” He explained innocently before tentatively licking his hand. His eyes lit up, triumphant.  
  
“Okay, well, ummm.”  
  
“This is what Miss Ella puts in the white stuff to make it taste better!” He exalted, looking at the syrup like he had found the Holy Grail.  
  
“Now he’s going to devour all the chocolate, isn’t he!” Lucifer accused loudly.  
  
“Yes!” Trixie declared. “Let me show you how!” She jumped off the counter and took the chocolate from the hungry archangel’s hand and went to the fridge to find some milk.  
  
Chloe wasn’t sure where to go with this. Here she was with three misbehaving children. Two, who were immortal archangels who one would think would know better by now. Fine, if they were going to act childish, she would deal with them accordingly. Mom-mode it was. “Trix, Monkey, you already had enough sweets today. Michael, Dear, don’t eat all of your brother’s food... and Lucifer, stop pouting. You can buy more.”  
  
“Awww!” Trixie whined.  
  
“I wasn’t eating all of it. There’s plenty strange powdery stuff left.” Michael gestured to the open bag of flour. Chloe shook her head, imagining him tasting it. She chuckled at the face he must have made.  
  
“I wanted strawberries!” Lucifer pouted petulantly. She could hear him getting up from the piano and starting to make his way over.  
  
“Good grief.” Chloe sighed. “Lucifer...if it bothered you so much, why didn’t you say something?” As she spoke, she saw Michael holding a can of whipped cream, trying to decide if it was still okay to continue. He looked up at Chloe, an expression of... oh, dear, he was making the most ridiculously hopeful puppy eyes she had ever seen on a grown… err, angel.   
  
Oh, he was good.  
  
“I was going to, then he gave me this look, and I...” Lucifer came into view. Then he saw Michael, whipped cream in one hand chocolate syrup in the other, puppy dog eyes in full effect. “Bloody Hell! That!” Lucifer gesticulated at his twin. “He’s making that face again. How am I to say no to _that?!?”_  
  
Seemingly chastised, Michael set both down and trudged out of the kitchen. “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.” He muttered softly, looking as if his world was ending.  
  
Lucifer’s anger dropped away and he gave Chloe a guilty,_pleading _look. _‘Help,’ _it seemed to say. “Mī, I’m sorry... you can have it.” He rushed over to the kitchen, passing a disbelieving Chloe and awestruck Trixie, to grab the chocolate, milk, and whipped cream, and proceeded to put together a cup. “I’m not mad. _Really.” _He insisted.  
  
Michael flopped down onto the couch and looked at his brother, resigned like he already made up his mind never to have anything chocolate again. Really? This from the same person who had hidden under a blanket rather than face the idea of eating? Chloe supposed the 180 was good, but it seemed it was going to take some adjusting.   
  
“Why don’t we all have hot chocolate? And since Ella will be coming by, I can text her and ask if she can pick up strawberries. Yeah? Does that sound good?” Chloe offered. When did she turn into such a push-over?  
  
“Only if I can make mine_ Irish.”_ Lucifer quipped. He glanced furtively at his twin, who was sitting straighter, a hopeful confused look on his face.  
  
“Only if Sammy doesn’t mind.” Michael half agreed, eyeing the two in the kitchen dubiously.  
  
“Me too?” Trixie asked. Eyes wide, mimicking the puppy expression she had seen on the archangel moments before.  
  
“Yes, Monkey. All of us.” Chloe conceded with a sigh.  
  
“Yes!” Trixie pumped her fist and hopped over to the couch to sit next to Michael and whisper something in his ear, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. He, in turn, looked bewildered by what she said, only to shrug it off with a smirk.   
  
Chloe looked at Lucifer and shook her head. Again. He was currently in the process of making four cups of primo hot chocolate, muttering something about how it would’ve been better with strawberries. Chloe laughed. How was this the Devil? Then glancing back at Michael, she had to chuckle again. He looked... pleased.  
  
“He really is the evil twin.” Lucifer muttered, laughing at the irony as he added chocolate syrup to the cups.  
  
Chloe wrapped her arm affectionately around her Devil’s waste and kissed his scruffy cheek. He, in turn, smiled tenderly at her. “You know, I think you’re right.” Chloe laughed.  
  
Lucifer sighed. “But he’s _My _evil twin, and I’ll rip the arms off anyone who tries to hurt him.”  
  
“And I’m sure he would do the same for you.” Chloe kissed him lightly and he beamed at her, a look of awe on his face. “Even _if_ he ate all the strawberries.”


	3. Texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lucifer and Michael develop a secret twin language.

Ding!

Lucifer pulled his phone out and grinned. “He’s learning about modern technology far more readily than Amenadiel had.” He beamed proudly as he proceeded to read the message and text a reply.

Being back at the Precinct, with Lucifer goofing off while Chloe tried to work was more than a little nostalgic. Over the last hour, he had been making inappropriate doodles on the sticky notes and documents, highlighting random phrases that could be read as rude or naughty, and constantly ‘topping off’ his coffee with the whisky in his flask. She had needed to remind herself several times that this was important when he started to distract her with his charming presence. But seeing Lucifer so pleased about something, she couldn’t help being curious. Setting down the file she’d been looking over (the secret one Ella had made for her) she looked up at her delighted partner.

“Did you get Michael a phone?” Chloe asked, intrigued.

Lucifer didn’t answer immediately, being distracted for a moment as he texted a reply. She waited. “Aaaand send. Sorry, Darling, what?” He looked at her owlishly for a moment before he processed what she had said. “Oh, yes, indeed. I put parental locks on it, however. Can’t have him buying any more shoes.”

Chloe laughed. “Is the passcode 666?” She asked with a grin.

Lucifer gaped at her, affronted by the proposition. “Of course not!” He retorted indignantly. Chloe was impressed. Was he finally taking security seriously? “It needs to be four digits long.” He added with a grumble.

Oh... well that left one obvious alternative. “So it’s 69 69.” She predicted with a grin.

Her partner’s eyes widened. “Bloody Hell! Not so loud, now I need to change it!” He complained. Chloe laughed again.

“So, what did he say?” She asked, changing the subject to improve the mood of her grumpy Devil. “In the text, I mean.

This immediately brightened her partner’s disposition. Spinning happily on his chair as he rolled over to her side of the desk, he showed her his phone, clearly proud. “See for yourself, Detective!” He chirped.

👀💋😈✨🌈👩. 😈👩👉🔥,🔨! 

“What?” Chloe blurted. Did Lucifer actually understand that? She knew he liked to send texts loaded with emojis but nobody ever understood him. Yeah, she knew he kept saying it was reminiscent of hieroglyphs... but... And now Michael was doing it too?

“Oh,” Lucifer beamed at her. “He said, ‘watching ‘Bedazzled’ with Miss Lopez. Elizabeth Hurley’s portrayal of you - me - is on fire. She nailed it.’ See? Rainbow girl is for Miss Lopez.”

Chloe looked again. Okay, maybe she got it? She was starting to think that emojis were Michael and Lucifer’s secret twin language, and when she looked at his reply, it only confirmed her suspicion.

👍. 😈👩🍑🥉! 💋🔥💀! 👋🌈👩🙂.

She looked at Lucifer blankly, and pointed. “What is that supposed to mean???”

Leaning in so he could point as he went, he happily translated. “I agree. She’s a peach in real life! Sexy as Hell. Say Hi to Ms. Lopez for me.”

“What’s the third place medal for?” She wondered, perplexed.

“Real life, obviously, because in real life, we can’t all be winners.” He drawled, making a mock sad face. Chloe rolled her eyes. 

Ding! 

Another message appeared on the screen. 

🌈👩👋😃. 🍿😋.

“Hey, I think I understand this one!” Chloe brightened up. Was she actually cracking the code? “Rainbow girl is Ella, so Ella says Hi?” Then she pointed to the popcorn and yum face. “And here, he’s saying he likes popcorn, right?”

Lucifer beamed at her. “Excellent deduction, Detective!”

Content with this little revelation, Chloe returned to the task at hand. She pulled out the file Dan had on the case, and started the leaf through it when she heard his phone chime again.

Ding!

Glancing over his shoulder, she saw the following text pop up on his phone’s screen.

👊🏾🥳🎉💩, 🗣🛑❌🍭🍩⚔️👼🏽🥺. ⚔️🕊🏙💩👊🏾👨🏾😇.

Lucifer took one look and busted up laughing. He was so amused by this mystery message, his phone slipped out of his hand. Chloe caught it, saving it from a bad tumble, and gaped at the message as her celestial consultant fell off his chair from laughing. Well, she thought, looking at the impossible string of pictures, so much for figuring out the code. 

“Lucifer?” She ventured, both out of concern and confusion. He staggered to his feet, and shook his head to clear it, realizing he had made a bit of a spectacle of himself in a most undignified manner. He smiled sheepishly at the audience of curious officers turning to look their way. Then, smoothing out his suit and fixing his cufflinks, he gracefully returned to his seat, still snickering and grinning wolfishly even as he took his phone back, and texted his reply. 

🤣🤣🤣👊🏾😡⚔️😈👥!

“What did he say?” She demanded, desperately wanting in on the ‘joke.’ 

Lucifer took a few deep breaths to calm himself, even as a crowd of their coworkers was drawing in. Then, leaning in conspiratorially, he translated for her. “He called in a pigeon from outside and had it relieve itself on Amenadiel’s head!” He started to laugh again, less ostentatiously this time, but still, clearly delighted.

Chloe gawked. “What? Why?” So apparently Michael can talk to animals. And he can also be terribly immature. She knew he and Amenadiel had a history, but really?

“According to the text, our dear brother was being a party pooper and told Mī that he and Charlie don’t get any cinnamon rolls.”

Chloe sighed. Did their Father - God - really never teach them any better? Well, God? What have you got to say for yourself? She directed this thought skyward with an eye roll. “Honestly? So many things I want to say about that. I suppose it’s too much to expect you to tell him this wasn’t the best response to being told ‘no’?”

Lucifer grinned. “I told him he’s the evil twin.” More giggling.

Ding!

Chloe snatched Lucifer’s phone away from him upon hearing his phone chime again, getting ready to text the misbehaving archangel and demand he apologize to his older brother. Then upon seeing the message, she stopped.

🌈👩👎🤝🤔🥺

“Well I guess Ella told him it wasn’t nice.” Chloe sighed, shaking her head. Lucifer took his phone back and sighed as well, clearly disappointed. 

“It appears she made him apologize. Pity...” Then he texted back.

🌈👩🥳🎉💩. ⚔️🧗🎭😇.

Chloe understood the first part, but... “What?”

“Miss Lopez is a party pooper. You do what feels right.” He explained, earning him a glare.

Ding!

They both looked down at his phone again, and Lucifer started to snicker.

☝️👩🗣

“Don’t tell me,” Chloe shook her head. “That’s what she said.”

Lucifer wiped an imaginary tear away, and smiled wistfully, stage sniffing for effect. “He’s growing up so fast.”


	4. Not an Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Michael learns about human gender roles, and Lucifer is dubbed a cat.

Trixie was impressed, to say the least. My-My (he was not a fan of the name) was really good at video games. At first, when she and her mom arrived, he was playing against Lucifer, who was throwing a royal fit over how unfair it was that his twin, who had never seen a video game before in his life, kept figuring them out so quickly. In a moment of frustration, he all but threw the controls at Trixie so he could go smooch with her mom. Trixie didn’t mind. She liked it that they smooched now. Some kids thought that stuff was gross, but not Trixie. Especially since there was no way she could ever hope to get a better stepdad than the actual fallen archangel who fought against God for freewill. Not when he sometimes let her drive his corvette.

Trixie and My-My had been spending the evening switching between games, mostly because Trixie wanted to know if there was anything he _wasn’t_ great at. Puzzle? He figured those out the fastest. Fighting games… obviously, he nailed those. RPGs… FFVII confused him, but he figured it out. Racing games were his favorite. Currently, they were doing a Mario Kart game, and he had a ridiculous grin on his face as he passed her… again.

Lucifer leaned in to watch, his eye twitching a bit. “I really don’t understand it. I’m not much for these infernal things, but it’s more than a little frustrating that I can’t beat you. I had hoped that at least the _Urchin_ might.” He took a sip of something after that.

My-My smirked at him. “They’re really not hard to understand, Sam.” He remarked as he braked so the blue duck would hit someone else, only to accelerate and reclaim the lead with ease.

“What are you implying?” Lucifer half growled.

This was met with laughter from his teasing twin. “It’s not my fault you’re terrible at these.” He replied as he crossed the finish line.

Ella laughed from where she was by the bar. She had come in at some point during all this… Trixie honestly wasn’t paying attention. She was just thrilled that her mom was letting her play so much... instead of doing homework. She knew it was because it made My-My happy. That was the trick. She had whispered it to him the other day: he could totally get anything he wanted. All he had to do was use the puppy eyes. And it had proven correct again today.

“Angels, am I right?” Ella chuckled. She could hear her mom snorting in agreement from the kitchen.

“I hope you weren’t referring to me, just now.” Lucifer grumped. Trixie crossed the finish line and smiled at her partner in crime.

“That was your best score yet, Miss Trixie.” He praised. “Another?”

“Yes!”

“Why?” Ella asked, coming closer. Trixie and My-My stopped what they were doing, turning to see what the grown-ups were up to. Okay, technically, _he_ was a grown-up… but Trixie felt like that was more of a technicality with him.

“I’m no angel.” Lucifer replied darkly.

“Your big fluffy wings suggest otherwise.” Her mom pointed out as she walked up. She wrapped her arm around him affectionately and looked up at him with love-struck eyes. Trixie was still jealous that her mom got to see his wings and she didn’t. She just _knew_ they were wicked-cool looking.

Lucifer scoffed, but he couldn’t help looking at her Mom affectionately in return… even if he was annoyed.

“Dude, do you, like, not identify as angel?” Ella exclaimed, looking at him wide eyed. “Does that make you trans?” Trixie learned about that word recently during an assembly at school. It was what you called someone who changed gender, right? This conversation just got really interesting.  


“Trans?” My-My softly asked Trixie, clearly confused. Trixie shrugged, and they both turned their attention to Ella.

“Like, trans...species?” She elaborated with a shrug.

“What???” The Devil exclaimed disbelievingly.

Her mom giggled. “Hmm... never thought of that.” Lucifer looked startled by her reaction.  


Turning to My-My, Trixie translated. “Ella is saying that he decided to change his species.” She grinned at him as he gaped at her.

“So if you’re not an angel, what do you want to identify as?” Ella continued. Trixie and My-My both set their controllers aside and turn to face them.

“I thought we covered this already. I’m the Devil!” Lucifer declared, pulling back from her mom. Yep. He was definitely insulted. My-My looked sad, probably blaming himself again.

Her mom shook her head and put her hand on his cheek, stroking the scruffy part gently. “But I thought you don’t want to be the Devil.” She reminded. Trixie wasn’t sure if she was teasing or soothing him. Maybe both. Adults were complicated like that sometimes.

Lucifer, predictably, melted at her touch, before scoffing and brushing her hand off indignantly. “I don’t! But...” He trailed off, not sure where to go from there.

“See, that’s not gonna work for me.” Ella declared, crossing her arms. “I’m not calling you something you don’t wanna be.” That made sense to Trixie. In school, she was told that you’re supposed to refer to people how _they_ want to identify. Maybe angels don’t know that, because they didn’t go to school… or did they? Was there an angel school in Heaven?

“I... um...” The not-an-angel fumbled, clearly at a loss, and her mom started to laugh affectionately, covering her face with her hands.

“I think he’s confused.” She decided through her giggles. Ella smiled sympathetically, and Lucifer started to grumble. Then My-My decided to chime in.

“We could take a vote.” He offered earnestly. Everyone turned to look at him as he met their gaze, wide-eyed and innocent looking.

Ella smiled affectionately at him. Trixie suspected that she had a crush on him, and she wondered if she was ever gonna make a move. “That’s not how it works.” She explained, sighing. “He’s the only one who gets to decide how to identify.” She stated, practically parroting what had been said during the sensitivity seminar.

“This is ridiculous.” Lucifer grumbled, turning to head over to his bar to get more alcohol. Lucifer drank a lot of alcohol. He said it was because of the taste, which was funny, because as far as Trixie was concerned, the stuff was gross. Maze had offered her some once, but Trixie had immediately spit it out. Adults were weird.

The Devil’s secretly conniving twin shook his head in disagreement. “But Detective Chloe said he’s confused.”

“Really, Mī.” Lucifer huffed. “This is pointless...”

“I vote cat.” My-My announced with a playful smirk. He leaned back on the couch, clearly pleased with himself.

“WHAT???!!!” Lucifer practically shouted, launching himself up from where he had been leaning on the bar. Trixie busted up laughing. Lucifer _hated_ cats. She could hear that her mom and Ella were laughing just as hard as she was. 

“Yeah, I second that vote. It fits.” Her mom was gasping for breath and holding her side. 

“He totally is!” Ella howled through her giggling. Lucifer made the funniest, most insulted face she had ever seen, straightening up to his full height, puffing his chest up a bit… not unlike a cat trying to make itself look bigger by puffing up its fur. Trixie laughed even harder.

Lucifer glared at his overly amused twin. “Oh? Then what does that make you? A _puppy dog?”_ He challenged.

Smiling triumphantly, My-My leaned forward a bit. “No. I still identify as angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter in the Price of Freewill, resulted in a vote. What is Lucifer? Cat won. You can see the mini story and follow up art by going here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23547409


End file.
